Why does it seem like... everyone I talk to ends up ignoring me for the rest of my life.
Is it because there is nothing left to be said?
Did I offend them?
Did the last joke went too far?
Did I step on a bug and changed the course of time?
Was it the look of my face? That badly needs a punch.
Friendship... I have long forgotten what that word means anymore.
What does it mean to be a friend?
What does it mean once you become someone's friend?
What tells you that had moved up from an acquaintance to a friend?
They say... you will know it deep inside.
Well, I don't feel anything.
I enjoy their company, even if I have nothing to contribute.
I want to feel included even though I do not exactly have anything that could help.
I sometimes just simply want attention. Even now...
The people I admire... they are always... talking.
It really seem like they have endless stories to tell.
An bottomless chest full of exciting things that they are just waiting to share.
They seem to be always on the ball with current events.
Seeking to find everyone to hang out with them after school.
I know I would never become like that but... All I want is just someone who I can relate to.
Is it a crime?
Whenever I talk with someone, I feel like I am snatching them away from someone else.
That feeling... was it empathy or simply overthinking?
Some people seemed like they have no shame and would command attention at all times.
I sometimes wonder am I too frickle?
Or... an ugly egoist.
Just got a hanging feeling and I am just getting out. Also, this is kind of a small experiment I am conducting.
PS. This is not a vent. But a character concept study